I'll never learn. I haven't been completely clear about how I feel. My pride has been speaking for me, making things seem a bit nonchalant. There's this feeling in the pit of my stomach, telling me that this isn't right. Whatever decision I make, it won't be easy, so I just refuse to acknowledge the problem and leave things as they are. I need to get myself out of this now, and just stop talking to him altogether, but I'm finding it all too hard. So, I'll just continue with this charade until he breaks my heart. Part of me wants to see how far him and I could possibly go, and if things will actually work out. I'm fooling myself, because they just fucking won't!

I should really talk to him. I don't have a problem letting anyone else know how I feel, so why is there a problem with him? I'm afraid. Afraid that if I let him know how I truly felt, he'd just abandon me. I don't want to feel vulnerable. I don't want him to be aware and sure of the power that he has over me. ::sighs:: It's sad. Pathetic. Stupid.

Fuck my life.